Apr

14

It’s Spring! Close enough anyway… Temps in the 50s and sunshine is enough for me to call it official. I’ve been waiting patiently (ok, not always that patiently…) for the weather to break and now that it’s finally creeping in I am left disappointed. Seems this new office situation just won’t quit and I continue to find myself there for a minimum of 10 hours a day. That doesn’t leave time for much else, least of all going for walks in the sunshine. I’m beginning to think that I need to start scheduling those. Really… this past winter was a tough one. I am exhausted. I squeaked in some time to get my taxes done this morning. (Nothing like waiting til the last minute.) I haven’t done laundry since Dec 17th. (omg, that was 4 months ago… gross.) I did finally manage to pay my bills (thank god!) lest the powers that be repossess my life or something like that. (wait - that actually might not be that bad…) I have nothing to recharge my batteries with these days. Nathan resents me, or is at least bored… destroying the contents of my wastebasket daily along with any stray undergarments that may have been thoughtlessly tossed around the apartment. I can’t sleep at night… awakened by attendance policies and script changes. I try to tell myself that I just need to get over the hump. That soon enough things will even out and I’ll have time to enjoy the sunshine again… I hope that’s true.

Mar

24

momentum

March 24, 2009 | 1 Comment

If you have asked me how I’m doing lately I’ve most likely told you that I’m fine… truth is if I slow down enough to tell you how I’m really doing I will completely fall apart and I just don’t have the space in my life for that right now…

So thank you to the people in my life that notice, and I promise, I’ll be ok…

Feb

22

The Pool Bar

February 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Pool Bar

I’m hoping that the memory of this view is enough to pull me through the rest of the winter…

PS. Mexico was amazing…

Feb

7

um…

February 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Winter is gross… Cold and snowy and way too long… I am not impressed. But on the bright side, this Friday I will be leaving for a week in Mexico. I can’t wait. The warm sun and the sand and the all inclusive-ness of the whole thing… *sigh*

Things around here have been hectic… many changes at work, moving and growing… progressing ever so steadily. It’s enough to drive a girl mad at times but I’m taking it as it comes since that’s really all I can do. I feel a little bit like I’ve been losing myself lately… getting caught up in the whirlwind. Just another reason that I’m so looking forward to spending some time on the beach. I need to feel the sun and smell the ocean.

Last week I got to hang out with my favorite 1 yr old and she sat on my lap and fell asleep with her head on my chest… sometimes its the little things that make us feel connected the most.

Jan

28

about that project…

January 28, 2009 | 1 Comment

I’ve been trying to keep up with the mini photo project I had thought about doing… it’s turning into a year of selfportraits in various bathroom mirrors… oh well… that’s something I suppose…
2009

Dec

31

So I’ve been thinking of starting a new 365 photo project the first of the year… There’s the whole photo a day thing, and the self portrait a day thing… which is def more my style and I actually tried to do it the year I turned 25 but I never finished it. I think I might try it again though. I’ve been toying with the idea of a self portrait everyday when I wake up… something like this:

Good morning internet

But I don’t always look very good first thing in the morning (*ahem*as evidenced above right) so that may not be a very good idea… I also thought about a more extensive version of the outfit-of-the-day thing that I got into this last summer:

4th of JulyTired today...

who knows… it’s probably best to leave it open and just see if I can manage to get something on a daily basis. We’ll see how long it lasts… I give it about a week.

Dec

4

hibernating

December 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment

I have little desire to leave the house these days… it’s dark and chilly outside, and often damp. Winter makes me long for the days of working from home, and I’ve found myself working in mornings here and there where I stay in my pajamas a little longer and take a conference call from the living room instead of the office. It’s cozy here, and I am glad that I am able to make that sort of home for myself. My mind doesn’t seem quite ready for winter and the holidays and the depression brought on by such little sunshine… but I’m making do. Last night I brought down a few Christmas decorations to spruce up the place a little… I’ll try to get some photos posted soon.

(haha, “spruce up”)

Nov

19


There are days (weeks, months…) where things just seem to get flipped upside down and I’m left feeling… oh, I don’t know… deflated, disappointed, annoyed, sad, depressed, angry, stupid, naive, oblivious, pessimistic, completely fucking lost… take your pick! (or how about all of the above?)

These days make me want to cry, yell, pout, stomp my feet and throw a temper tantrum or curl up in a ball and sleep for days. How do I usually handle these days? Usually I cry, but I also talk… I talk to anyone who will listen… my mom, my sister, my friends, sometimes my dad if I’m desperate enough! The Crazy just pours out of my mouth and I could go on for hours at a time, circling around whatever is causing The Crazy at that particular moment. I don’t require much feedback, if any… I just need to get all the clutter out of my head. I’d think about posting it here… only that could be dangerous… you never know who’s out there on the internet.

So instead I talk… and to any of you that have suffered through my constant rambling… I’m sorry, and thank you.


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